Sept. 29th

Okay, who's ready to hear more? This one is going to be kind of detailed, so if you dont want specifics, stop reading now lol.

I have been asked to share a few of my experiences, so here they are. First off, know that I am married, although unhappily, and working towards divorce.

My husband's cousin lives with us on and off, and has done so for the past....ten years, until about a year ago. well I have always had feelings for his cousin, not that he knows that. the cousin and i are best friends and have been for 14 years. a few years back, I got brave enough to let him know how i felt, to a point...and while my husband was upstairs asleep, his cousin and I were downstairs having sex on my couch. you might think I was drunk or something, but no, and as far as I know, I am not able to get drunk. I just really needed the closeness of sex and to let him know how i felt about him.

Next experience: I realized about 7 years ago that I am bisexual. Now I've only been with a couple of women, but thats mostly just because I have always had an easier time talking to and being friends with guys I was asked if I was on top or bottom more....I would have to say its about even I suppose. Why do I like women? Honestly, I think its more to the fact that I like being licked...and have found very few men willing to do so. I also like being able to bring pleasure to people, men and women alike.

I love sex, the closeness, the awareness of giving someone the ultimate possible pleasure that another person can give. I am not into anal, but that I believe is only because the two people I have tried it with were very....uncaring for lack of a better word, and so it was painful.

Someone asked me why I like oral more than actual intercourse...its not that I like it better, it is more to the fact that because of being molested as a child, certain nerves were damaged and so I am only able to have an orgasm a couple different ways in general. If I am being eaten out or if someone is sucking and licking my nipples while fingering my pussy. There are only a couple of men who have been able to bring me to orgasm through vaginal intercourse, but I like the act nonetheless!

If you are reading this and find you have any questions or such, feel free to leave a comment!!

I will be back tomorrow!

Sept. 28th 2009

ok, I am back again....so you are here because you want to know more about why I am the way I am....to be honest, I am still learning that myself, so here we go, on an adventure together, sound good? lets go!!!!

I have always had abandonment issues, that I believe come from knowing I was a ward of the state. Because of that, I have had this NEED to please people, sometimes to my detriment. When I was little, I trusted my older "brother" while he would watch me when our "parents" worked. At some point, he started molesting me. Now I don't remember him doing so, but he told me he did, when he was asking for my forgiveness when I was older.

I have always loved sex, and have been told I'm good at it, by both men and women, though I've only been with 2 women. Having found something that I can do that no one has ever complained about with me, I now revel in it. Any time I come across someone who wants to be with me, I am thrilled at the thought of being able to please another person. When someone feels they should offer me something in return, who am I to say no?

ok, signing off for now, more soon!

introduction-sept.27, 2009

Why did I become what I am? Do what I choose to do? I would have to say that the main reason is lack of love at home....not from when I was growing up mind you, but after I was married. Constant belittlement when you already have very low self esteem pretty much kills any esteem you might have left. At first, I was just helping a friend to start being an escort, but then the guys she would meet through my website or through me wanted me more than her. That kind of attention felt so good, I decided to try escorting too. I mean, I like sex, and being the only person on a guys mind even just for an hour is great, and the money was an added bonus. Now I am trying to be a sub to someone that I have known for a few years. Why did I choose to become a sub? I think its because I want to know I'm cared for and being taken care of on that level, and also from a need to be accepted, and knowing that by doing so, I am making someone happy and proud of me.

That's all for now, more to come later.